Pollyanna

I don't do change well.

I seem like I do, but in reality, in my mind, and even my heart...I don't.

I wish I did.

I think I am the kind of person who can fake change well...you know, roll with the punches, put your best foot forward, look at the upsides. Pollyanna.

At some point in the faking it process though, I slowly begin to accept it. Changes. I'm not there yet.....I am still in denial that my BFF is living in another state and not around the corner.

I still hope she and others who have gone before her will return.

Back to accepting it. I'm in the bartering phase now....I think with God. The phase where I find myself asking Him...Please, let there be another way. Let this thing or that thing, or this or that person....you get what I'm saying.....

I have a friend who spoke/lead/taught/blabbered for the last time this week in the venue I have listened to him in for the last 7-8 years. I know that I will still hear him speak/teach and blabber again....but....still...I don't like the change.

My daughter is graduating. She visited her college last week. She is getting excited to leave the nest. I am too.

Kind of. I want her to leave, but I so DO NOT want her to go. I want to go back a few years, to relive some of them...to hold her, and all of my kids a little more closely. I love to watch them change...but then, I don't like the change.

With all of these changes....I am faking the upside, for myself and them. There are better things ahead. You have no idea what He has in store for you, you will make new friends, new places are filled with new and exciting opportunities...

Sometimes, when it gets quiet here....the realities of the changes settle around me like a damp overcoat....I've never been much of a coat wearer....

I keep throwing it off....and keep looking for the things to be "Glad" about.

Pollyana had to fall out of the tree before she realized fully the "Gladness" of change....I think I'll opt for a great workout and call it even.