Questions about Girls

Tonight Noah and I had some stolen time alone. It has been a really busy week filled with volleyball games, lacrosse games, practices for both sports, early am music rehearsals, appts., and general end of the year mayhem. Anyway...Noah and I came home while the girls all went to the Y, and quickly snuggled into bed to read a chapter or two of Harry Potter. After closing the book Noah said, "Mom, I have a few questions about girls OK?"

I will admit, there was a pit in my stomach...he's eight, but he has 4 sisters...and I tend to answer honestly, which usually backfires on me.

Question l. How come girls don't get pee on the seat when they go?
Answer: ahahhahahahh, snort, ahhaha, ummm, cuz usually they sit down. So no spraying.
Response: He nodded as if he agreed and it made sense.

Question 2. How come the girls always say they are fat, but they eat everything in the house, then get mad if you have the car and they can't go to the Y? (3 in 1 question)
Answer: (Desperately trying to school my features) I think its because of the media's influence on them, they feel like society only values thin women and girls, and they starve themselves all day, and then binge at night, because, honestly, they haven't had a ton of self control modeled for them! (just being honest here) And they go to the Y because that makes them feel better about eating everything in the house, plus I think they feel cool!
Response: "Mom, seriously, do you think I even know what the media is?"

Question 3. How come its funny if the girls call their private parts a "chooch" but if I call mine a "dick" its a naughty word?
Answer: (Laughing openly) I have no idea, it just is buddy.

Question 4. How come they get mad so easily, even when they seem happy?
Answer: Hormones and genetics, plus I think it makes them feel powerful.
Response: I think they are mean and stupid and they don't need anymore power, they already get the car!

Questions 5. Do you think they wish they had..you know...nuts?
Answer: I've never wished that, but I don't know about other girls, you should ask your sisters.

Question 6. Boys and girls both have nipples right? So how come girls have to cover theirs up?
Answer: You asked me this once before dude, are you just wanting to say nipples again?
Response: No, I still think its dumb, I think Olivia does too! (ahhahaah)

I realized after tucking this kid in that life with 4 sisters might be troubling and confusing at times. I love that he feels like he can ask anything, while at the same time I cringe at what he sees and knows and observes. I also cannot help laughing hard, and I am powerless to hide it. I am also praying that I don't mess him up, that growing up with 4 sisters and a mom won't make him some kind of freak.

For now, I think he might be a pretty normal 8 year old boy who pees all over the toilet seat, I think just to gross his sisters out!