Friends

When you are preparing yourself and your kids to put the family pet to sleep, there are hundreds of thoughts, memories and emotions that run unbridled through your mind. But the reality is, there is only so much mental preparation which can be done, only so much talking through and consoling, and in the end you are confronted with the task.

There is much about today that I could write about, the conversations, the drive, the scene at the animal hospital, and the torrents of tears that were shed unashamedly. All of those things bear remembering, but tonight the scene and experience which continues to run through my minds eye and heart are the friends who stood beside my children.

Olivia texted me early in the day to let me know that her bon homme, Ally would be accompanying us to the vet. It bears saying that as Olivia's best friend, Ally is no stranger to grieving the loss of a pet with Olivia. In all of the other instances though, she has been notified and sought out for the comfort which only a best friend can offer, after the beloved pets have died. Today she volunteered to go, to watch, to comfort, laugh and weep alongside her friend during the entire event. She watched Heidi's eyes as she drifted off, and dug her hands deep into her fur as she lay on the table, standing next to Olivia and Fiona the entire time. Once home, she volunteered to relieve Fiona as she was digging the hole a bit wider to accomodate the blanket...and again as Noah and Fiona seemed to tire filling it back in.

Noah chose to stay with the neighbor boys while we took Heidi to the vet, but he wanted to help bury her. Arriving back home, I watched as he left their yard, accompanied on both sides by his two chums, Ian and Kyle, ages 8 and 6 respectively. They walked to our house in silence, Ian never taking his eyes off of Noah, and keenly watching his face and posture. While we laid Heidi in the hole, Ian continued to watch Noah, and as the tears began to slide silently down his face, Ian moved to stand beside his friend, putting a small hand on his shoulder and squeezing quietly, while tears slid down his own small cheeks. He stayed next to Noah the entire time, watching him take a turn shoveling dirt into the grave, and only moving to leave when Noah was ready. At that point he walked alongside of him quietly, following his friends' lead as to what they would do next. There were no words exchanged between the two, just unspoken knowledge that he was not leaving, that he was hurting for him and with him.

I am amazed and full with the realization that my children have found friends and their own "people" to experience this life alongside of them. I realize that they are all still young and perhaps the friends will change over time, but for now they have abundance. I am amazed by the empathy and strength I saw in the faces and actions of these friends today, despite their ages or gender, they already possess qualities of character which are sometimes scarce in our world today.

At the end of the long day, I am thankful for these friends, and for mine as well, who called, texted, phoned and did not glaze over, and who stood alongside us when life was difficult and sad.