Dreaming of a Little Patch of Heaven

In the summer of 2016, I began to dream.  It seemed like a pretty

huge dream at the time,  and one that would take a good deal of planning,

saving with intention, and some damn good fortune. 

You see, in 2015 I became overwhelmed and fed up with owning a camper. When I divorced in 2006 I came away with 5 kids, a dog, some personal effects, and our Jayco Kiwi camper.  The kids and I had some great camping adventures in that beauty!  So many great memories! Campfires, beaches, quaint towns to explore, raccoons to be lodged underneath…good times!  Alas, there had been a leak over the winter one year which required some floor repair, then other small issues that I always needed help fixing.  Fortunately for me, I have amazing friends from a coffee shop I worked in, and they stepped up to help me each time I asked.  They still do.  But back then I felt like it was all too much to deal with. Finding storage in the winter, hauling it out in the spring only to do weeks' worth of damage control.  The kids were getting older, some had moved away to college and had not moved back home. The others were in their teen years and held summer jobs that made it challenging to get large blocks of time off to camp with the family.  It seemed the camping season of life had come to an end. So I sold the Kiwi in 2015. 

And regretted it, when in the early months of 2016 I began to look for places to vacation near the beach. Wow!  There were some lovely places to stay.  Most of the goods ones were already snatched up by early February.  All of them were very pricey.  In the summer of 2016, we tried our luck at tent camping.  Fortunately, our friend had reserved 2 campsites in Pentwater, our favorite beach town.  It was also fortunate that she had a motorhome with all the bells and whistles.  We took a TON of supplies. Coolers, camp stove, camping table, the infamous Michelson Camp Box, or camp kitchen as the blueprints refer to it.  We borrowed a gazebo-style tent from a neighbor and a tent purchased from a friend, and our air mattresses and bedding.  I’m not going to say we didn’t have fun, because we did. It was a fabulous trip.  But camping in a tent is an enormous amount of work.  Fortunately for us, we had no rain, but if we had, our view of this experience might be very different.   Still, I missed the convenience and comfort of a camping trailer.  My dream began during this trip. My dream of a small, towable little camping trailer that I could haul and set up with very little effort.  That would keep me (and anyone with me) dry, warm, or cool, depending on the weather.  

For the next few summers, I booked small Airbnbs or quaint hotel stays. All of the kids and I didn’t go on every trip.  Elsa had moved to Portland, Savannah in the UP. Noah, Olivia, Fiona, and I were the travelers on most of these trips.  For at least part of the time.  Still, my dream of a little camper was being watered and nourished.  I spent hours online or walking around campgrounds looking at other rigs.  The Suitor and I went to a few camper shows.  My parent's health declined and the camper dream was put off for the future.  Still, I gathered ideas for how it would feel. One day.  What would be important to me in the little trailer. What memories and experiences I wanted to share with others and what I hoped for myself on the summers I would spend traveling and reviving in its company. 

During the initial pandemic lockdown, like many others, I took to social media for inspiration, dreaming, and connection.  It was there, on an Instagram account, @etst, a sister of a good friend, that I first saw The Mug.  A lovely pottery mug, created by  East Fork Pottery, that was produced in a variety of colors or glazes.  They have their standard glazes in stock always, but also limited-release glazes so that people can curate lovely collections.  I fell in love.  

Kelly Hampton had named all of her mugs after Little Women characters and artfully displayed them on a shelf in her kitchen.  When she made her annual pilgrimage to Northern Michigan that summer, she chose a mug that would make the journey with her.  The mug offered constancy and a summer vibe I could not stop thinking about.  It brought joy in some very dark times.  During this time frame, East Fork released several limited-edition glazes.  I began to think, perhaps I would invest in my own East Fork mug collection,  Invest is the right word too.  Like all handcrafted works, they came with a price tag that made me wince.  Because I knew, if I purchased one, and loved it, I too, would want a collection.  A collection that would one day, be my camping mugs.  In the little trailer, I was still dreaming of.   

In the autumn of 2021, the Harvest Moon glaze was re-released by East Fork.  I knew the instant I saw it, that this would be the first mug in my collection.   

Harvest Moon was followed by Rococo, released in November of 2021, a Christmas gift from Olivia, who understood my mug (and camper) dreams.  The following birthday, Utah, brought back in Feburary of 2022 was a gift from my sister, along with Eggshell and Panna Cotta, gifts from The Suitor on the same birthday.  Fiddlehead arrived on my porch that same spring, a gift from my BFF!  Bounty.  My collection was complete.  Ha!  No, it was not.  With the addition of Fiddlehead, I realized my collection lacked any sort of blues/browns/black colors.  

I began to watch for a new glaze release that spoke to my heart.  It arrived in the spring of 2023 in the hue of Secret Beach!  How perfect!  Had Secret Beach been released earlier, I might not have ever been able to afford a small traveling patch of heaven. I might have replaced all my dinnerware with that shade.  

Somewhere between Harvest Moon and Secret Beach, when some of the kids were visiting for a long weekend, maybe spring of  2022,  an elderly neighbor down the road had a For Sale sign on a little camper I had noticed often in their driveway.  Pointing it out on our way to the store, whoever was driving pulled in, went to the door, and asked if we could have a look.  

I knew immediately that this was the little camper layout in my dreams.  It was small, yet felt spacious.  It had a Murphy bed, which I had never considered.  It was priced right. It sold in 24 hours.  I thought about it for too long.  

Now I had in my mind what I was looking for, and for the following few months, I hunted the interweb for the same camper, maybe a newer or older model, perhaps with an oven. Maybe a little more storage. The Suitor was looking too. He found several to look at, but each time we went, the “This is Home,” feeling was missing.  While he didn’t give up looking online for me, he did say he was not going to look at any more campers with me until I found the right one.   Clearly, we approach something like this very differently.  I don’t think he fully gets the vibration that happens when you just know it’s the right thing. (I could comment further here and relate this to 3 previous committed situations, but I won’t, because that would not be kind!) 

While I was working one day, he sent a link to a little camper, the same model the neighbor had sold, but newer, priced right, and only 40 minutes away.  It looked,  perhaps, too good to be true.  I told him on the drive up, that I would not be committing to anything that night, that we would have to talk about it, I would need to think at least overnight.

 We pulled up to the seller's home, and when we opened the camper door, I KNEW.  I walked in and nearly felt it sigh and say, “I have been waiting for you!  Finally, you found me!” 

I tried to play it cool, looked at everything closely, and asked all the right questions.  Checked all the things.  When the seller went in the house to get a piece of information, I looked at The Suitor and started to say, “I know I said…,” but he knew too.  He could tell by the look on my face, the questions that I asked, that he was asking. He felt it too.  This camper could be our little patch of heaven when he could camp with me, but it was also easy enough to set up and haul for me to do alone.  We shook on it that night before leaving, I handled the banking the next day while simultaneously trying to teach America’s youth English concepts, while also fizzing at them with my camper purchase excitement.  We went to pick it up the next evening after work. 

I set about outfitting the little dream with organizational items that were also aesthetically pleasing.  I found plates and bowls that were reminiscent of the 60’s era of melamine camping plates from my childhood.  I ordered baskets to hold utensils on the wall, paper towel holders for over the sink, and purchased comforters, pillows, duvet covers, and towels that would be for camping alone.  I sifted through my parents' kitchen camp box for useful utensils, cookware, and marshmallow roasting forks.  I found the dogeared, tape-covered booklet of campfire songs that my dad had lovingly tended for years and popped it into a drawer.  When my mom passed in the fall of 2022, I plucked the basket of games out of her cupboard in assisted living and put it in the camper cupboard.  They will both always be traveling with me in spirit.  

When I sold the Kiwi in 2015 and simultaneously began dreaming of this future camper, I had no idea how life would shift and change over the next few years.  I didn’t imagine this experience without having both of my parents still here to support my efforts and cheer me on from the sidelines. I didn’t originally imagine the lovely mug collection that would fuel my dream and keep it burning through the difficult pandemic, or how that mug collection would sit in my cupboard at home, used daily of course, but knowing they were not truly “home” yet.  

Back then, I had no idea that this summer, I would set out on a camping adventure while also beginning grad school online, and that I would need to navigate Wifi and Hotspots in order to read and submit work.  I had no idea who, if anyone would join me. Back then, I had not even imagined grandchildren, and here I am with several!  

What I had imagined, was a day and evening just like this. With time to read, write, reflect, and take in all that is around me. The sounds, the scents, the dappled light through the trees.  I imagined it being just like this.  

Back then all I  had was a dream.  A big dream, but not an impossible one. With time and patience, some loss and heartache. It was a  dream fueled by my parents' love for camping, fostered by my own camping experiences in adulthood, and by this little mug collection that I knew needed a home in my little patch of camper heaven. 

It's a Mystery: Observations About Camping

A few things I have observed camping with a variety of people.

  

I spent the majority of this past week camping with girls. Women actually, but two of my daughters and two small children, ages three and ten months.  Camping with women and small children is a twofold experience. With women, the words “that won’t work" or "you can’t do that," or "it can’t be done,” aren’t part of the vocabulary.  If we want something to be done in a particular way, we will figure out how to accomplish that thing.  Whether that means parking the camper in a particular spot,  at a specific angle in order to optimize the experience, building a campfire, getting an umbrella in the sand or anything related to cooking/serving, eating. We also use the word “no” infrequently and do our best to not be frustrated by things like our pictures not sending or the lack of cell service in the great outdoors, other campers, bikes, or any of the chores related to camping.

Another thing, women don’t do a whole lot of is assessing how other campers got their rigs parked. I mean, we watch for sure, because that’s camping entertainment!  But musing on such things isn’t part of our conversation. Puzzling over it each time we pass, nope.   Now, assessing other campers set up?  THAT is something women do a lot. We take note of how their outside situation is configured and notice small things as we walk or bike by, like an aqua ice maker or the number of chairs gathered around in a circle related to the number of folks present at the site.  We notice those things. 

“What can I do to help,” is also a question you hear often when camping with women. Related to anything. Helping with kids, dinner, clean up, and organization. Whatever it is, our main goal is to have some fun even if it’s while we all cut up vegetables while feeding kids and “tightening up camp.” All of this, in order to get to some real fun, the beach, a sunset, a bike ride or sitting with our books. 

On the flip side, camping with kids is a damn lot of work.  We know this though, so there is no sense focusing on the fact. After all, our goal is to raise future campers who love the activity as much as we do.  We want them to have magical memories of camping like we do. Their memories will of course be different, but we realize that our tone and attitudes help to create those memories in a positive way. We don’t let them know how much work they are! (Mostly)  In their minds, we WANT to go run up that hill as much as they do. We are SUPER excited to wade into that ice-cold water and try to body surf!  This is because women are also really good at creating games on the spot that won’t require us to move from our beach chairs…like, “I’ll time you to see how fast you can run to that post and back. (something pretty far away that will take up time and expend a lot of energy, preferably) Then we high-five them with lots of praise and excitement and they feel like we participated, when in fact, we remained warmly nestled in our chairs and continued to sip our coffee, cocktail, or other hydration choice. We may have also read a few more paragraphs of your books, but not likely. 

The other thing about camping with kids is the napping.  Napping should be a gift of time to read, putter, or get a little mid-day rest too.  The thing about nap time is, that you damn well better have everything you need out of the camper because NO ONE is opening that camper door and potentially waking up the sleeping baby. NO ONE!  When kids and babies sleep or nap, this is the ONLY time you have to really relax, and we women know how to take full advantage of that. We also know how badly we need to this recharge!  I haven’t even addressed the bathing and attempts to get all the sand off of toddlers and babies in campground bathrooms where you would prefer to touch NOTHING!  That is a project. There is often a lot of crying in campground showers and the woman or women if you’re lucky, bathing the kids are so hot and sweaty by the end, we need our own shower just to feel halfway normal again. Or at the very least an ice-cold cocktail or steaming mug of evening coffee!    But if given the chance, we would do it all again, over and over, because there is something about camping that hits in our souls.  

Last night, when I went home for an open house, The Suitor surprised me with the news that he had Saturday off and could, in fact, come to my favorite campground for the remainder of the weekend. I was going to head over this morning, but he wanted to wake up here, so we made the drive back last night. I’m so glad we did. There’s nothing better than waking up in a camper.   We arrived 3 hours past his bedtime, but he was prepared for that and had a 5-hour energy shot to keep him going.  I had condensed and covered everything before heading home yesterday morning, so it took me a few minutes to get the campsite cozy and organized once we arrive but  I knew he would be awake long before me, and I wanted things plugged in, laid out and in order so that he could enjoy his morning. 

 Here’s the thing that is different with men. Or with this man maybe. They want to optimize their time. They work efficiently. They see the day before them and feel like minutes are ticking away before they have to be back at their grind again on Monday.  They feel this optimization diminishing at 8:00 am on Saturday morning. Or at least The Suitor does. At 8:00 AM,  I am still sleeping. When I am camping with him,  I sleep until I smell bacon or coffee, whichever hits first.  THAT  is a big difference between camping with women and men.  Men generally get the meat going in the morning, (no pun intended) and start working on breakfast pretty early.  The good ones,  like my Suitor, know how to wake a girl up so she has a good attitude about being woken up earlier than she normally would crawl out from under the covers when camping in the great outdoors.  Waking up to the glorious scents of bacon and coffee. That she did not have to make!  

When camping with a man, you realize the conversations are far different too.  They wonder and comment A LOT  about how backing in this or that rig was even possible for other campers. They seem to be able to determine how “damn close” the campers are to each other, and how “they really pack them in here don’t they?” They also notice how far the bathroom is from your setup, and unless it's really close, like right across the street, they comment on the long ass walk. It’s not that women don’t notice these things too, we just don’t talk about them much. I’m not sure why. 

It’s a mystery, this working of the minds between men and women. 

Another thing about camping with men, they seem to have a list of chores that need to be finished in a timely fashion. Like early in the day.  A timely fashion of their own creation mind you.  I think because they don’t really sit and linger over coffee for very long. Or really linger much at all.  I suspect this is because they have never learned how to just “be still,” and “enjoy their own thoughts and company.”   They want to get on with optimizing their day.   I sometimes wonder if The Suitor had two weeks to camp uninterrupted if this would change, but I think, probably not. It’s how he and men in general are wired. Mostly.  

The lack of cell service or internet connection seems to be a sticking point for menfolk as well. A lot of commenting over time like, “Boy, there sure isn’t any cell service here is there?” or “I don’t have ANY bars, do you?”  While this year I do need WiFi in order to do my school work, I looked up local coffee shops where I can get that done when I need to. I can set aside an hour or so to go do that when there is a window of time. Preferably when there are not gorgeous beach hours to be enjoyed. Otherwise, I have no need for cell service OR WiFi!  I’m camping! The great outdoors is my entertainment!  Important to note,  I have not even needed to utilize any of those coffee shops because the hotspot on my phone has worked great.  Problem-solving!  Finding a way to make it work.  Another difference between camping with men and women.  I’m not saying men can’t and don’t problem-solve while camping…they do! Just related to very different things than women.  

The ONE thing that men, women, and children ALL have in common when camping is the all-important trip or trips to get ice cream. Preferably hand dipped. Preferably made someplace in Michigan. Preferably ice cream with a very high-fat content and big ass scoops!  We’re all camping. We walk, bike, swim, lug water all day!  The ice cream and sunsets are our greatest gifts!  Camping cones just hit differently. There also seem to be no cost-cutting rules when camping. Want a waffle cone? Sure! Want a double dip? Heck yeah!  Want it rolled in sprinkles? Of course!  Banana split? No time like today! It is always so interesting to see what kind of flavors folks choose when getting a camping cone.  Women I notice, tend to throw caution to the wind and choose flavors they have never tried!  Lemon cheesecake, Michigan Pothole, Cowpie, Rush Hour, Eskimo Kisses.  Men stick to old favorites.  Vanilla, Butter Pecan, Mint Chip, Maple Nut.  Kids are wild cards.  They may try Superman or Playdough, but could also defer to a lovely Strawberry or Vanilla with sprinkles.  Me?  Blue Moon leads the charge!  But once I’ve had my first dip of the summer I mix it up with anything that has caramel, coffee, or toffee bits!  Eskimo Kisses gets mixed in pretty often as well.  The one flavor I am not old enough to ever choose is Butter Pecan or Maple Nut. I guess that’s 2 flavors…but still…I’m not 95!  Or male!  Those are old-man ice cream choices!  You won’t change my mind about this!  I’ve done my research!  Someone I camped with this week likes one of these flavors for sure.  I’m not naming names…but they fit the target demographic highlighted above!  Just sayin'.

All in all, though,  I love the mix of it all. The camping with women and kids. Camping alone with The Suitor. Camping alone period!   It’s a great balance.  I can’t lie.  It is nice to have some quiet today, to be able to craft this post and finish up some classwork. It was lovely to eat fresh bacon that I didn’t cook!  I was fizzing to stroll along the canal walkway showing The Suitor all of my favorite houses and telling him stories and just soaking in the late morning.  It’s nice to be here in one of my favorite places on earth with him, even though I think it will never be his.   It’s sometimes challenging for me to put myself in his shoes.  But I am trying.  I am trying to transition from camping with the girls and grands to a different perspective of camping with him.  And then camping alone None of these experiences are better or worse. Favorite or 2nd and 3rd.  They are all just different.  All wonderful in their own ways. 

 

Next week I will be in a different campground and the grands and women/kids will be in and out visiting and staying. So will their partners.  Hopefully the boy and his gal too! There will be bustle and child tending and camping games and bike rides. There will be games of corn hole and Jarts. There will be quiet nights by the campfire and some filled with stories and songs.  There will also be some quiet days like today.  

It is all a great gift, this camping tradition that I love so darn much. One passed down to me by my parents, who I know are looking down over it all and are pleased as punch that we are carrying on in some of the same ways they modeled for us.  Passing it all on to a new generation and to new people, like The Suitor, who are learning to love this experience as much as we do!  

One last thing. Whether camping with women, small children or men, nothing hits like a camping storm and a nap!   Which I am off to enjoy now!