Chapter 1: Introduction

My friend recently made a furtive case for me to begin this book.  He believes in me. He has believed in me nearly since the first days we have known each other.  He believes unequivocally that within me lies the potential for a good (if not great) book.  He believes the stories I have shared with him, and others, are stories that people who don't know me or my family or friends or circumstances, will relate to.  On a human level.  In our recent conversation he also expressed his concern that he worries if I don't begin soon, that my potential for, and I quote, in a thick Scottish accent, "I worry that if you don't get things down soon, that your potential for a positive outcome will run out!!"  

Well!!  All that belief and then WHAM!!  My shocked and puzzled expression did not come close to what I was thinking (OK, and may have said out loud).  "What the hell (may have been a different word) does that mean?"  "Positive outcome on what?  My love life?  My career? (Which I hadn't even begun yet) Life in general?"  I worried that he had some kind of insight into my future which I was not privy to.  I pondered for a moment if this was in some fashion his way of letting me know that my life, as he was observing it, was like some kind of train wreck movie  waiting to happen.  If memory serves me correctly, I think I fired off a myriad of these questions like an automatic weapon.  Calm Scot that he is, he waited for my barrage of questions to cease and then he said calmly (because it's my life that is in danger of a" less than positive outcome", not his), "you are pulled in so many directions, by so many different circumstances and people, and the issues you deal with are not small, and over time I worry they are going to take their toll on you.  Right now you deal with them for the most part with a positive attitude and outlook, but eventually they are bound to begin to wear you down.  A person can take only so much stress and emotional pressure." 

When we had this conversation I laughed at his perspective on my life.  On his perception that "a person can take only so much."  Since that evening though, I have given his words considerable thought and weighed them for their merit. 

This is where I am today.  I am completely sure that whatever my "outcome" is, that my spin on it will be (has to be) positive.  I am completely certain that every aspect of the life I have lived to date has weight and bearing on the future outcome and that along the way there have been moments, both positive and negative. Additionally, I am pretty certain (note the use of a qualifier, just to cover my ass in case I'm wrong and have to admit it later) that much like those which have passed, the moments ahead will also be both positive and negative.  The quality I possess and have utmost hope and faith in continuing, is my ability to view and live in those moments with humor, flexibility, a thick (armadillo like) skin, and hope!  

In the pages that follow I hope to share with you some of these moments, both the positive and the negative.  As I finally commit to penning them down, I am holding on to the hope that some of these stories might carry with them a ring of truth and hope for you as well.   Of course my most sincere and deepest hope is that by writing them now I will perhaps increase my chances for a "positive outcome."