SOMETIMES THE TRUTH IS UNCOMFORTABLE

I've been having one of those weeks...no actually its been a lot longer than that, possibly months, when the truth is evident in everything I do, and everywhere I turn. That should be awesome. Confirmation from God. Always a good thing right?

Only I seem to be running from it. Avoiding it. Sidestepping it. Keeping myself busy in order to not address it. It should be getting easier for me to deny what is truth in my life....with all the avoidance of it, but the curious thing is, is that the farther I run, avoid or sidestep, the busier I make myself...the louder it rings in my heart.

I need to make changes. I need to to be reverent in the way that I live, to teach what is good, to be self-controlled, and pure in my thinking and motives and actions. I need to be kind.
I want to be all of those things. Why does it seem so difficult? Why do some of those things seem so contrary to how I feel like God wired me? Why would He create me in this loud, straightforward, sometimes crass or coarse way, only to instruct me to be different? How can I be "me", and still honor Him?

I realized today that the changes arent as huge as I percieve them to be. The changes will be subtle. They begin in my heart, where He is already trying to mold me into His image. They should be most evidenced in my speech, but also my actions. They can only happen if I am willing to give up control......that is what makes me most uncomfortable.

Today I'm giving up. Control. Comfort. My heart....yet again!