Independence and other myths

December 13, 2007 - Thursday

Lately I have been battling with my notion of independence. I have no interest or desire to give mine up. I will hold fast to it until I am old and gray, and no one had better try and step in my path that wants to interfere with it. My mantra has become..." I am an independent woman, no one tells me what to do, or where to be, what to wear, how to think...blah, blah, blah". BS!

I looked up independent in the dictionary and this is what it says:not subject to control by others; not requiring or relying on something else; not looking to others for opinions or guidance.

Hmmmm....so, now I'm feeling pretty much like an ass. Because this is what I know about me: I do allow myself to be guided and controlled...just not by people. I rely on Him daily...and many times on people. And I look to Him for guidance in almost every area of my life, and I trust a few dear friends for their opinions and guidance in my life daily. Sooooo....while I've been freaking out about my independence in the last few days...I'm beginning to realize that true independence might not really be something that I desire.

Independence in that sense would be a life devoid of community. A life without the people I love and that have shaped me into the person that I am. It would be a life without God, or at the very least without trusting Him and following Him in the way He desires me to trust and to follow. That is not at all what I want.

What I have started to realize, albeit slowly, is that maybe my view of alot of things has been jaded by past experiences and influences. And maybe what I need to embrace in the form of a new mantra is something more along the lines of...trusting God, trusting people....and living in freedom!