A NEW DAY HAS DAWNED

This morning, after a long night of very little sleep, I dragged my phass to the Y.

AT 5 AM!!!!

I did my usual bike....stepping it up to burn 100 in 10 minutes....for a total of 300!

Then...and this is the biggy....I RAN on the treadmill. I have been wanting too for a long time, but the vanity of how that would look to others kept me from doing it...also the thought of how MORTIFIED I would be if I clumsily fell off....which was a definite possibility! I ran 5 out of 20 minutes. Not consecutively...tomorrow I am shooting for 6.

I need a goal...or a dream or an aspiration...something to work toward (as if getting five kids raised and out of the house isnt enough of a goal...or finishing college!) DIL.

I need something that is purely for me, that I want to do, or have wanted to do....and you know, the thing that keeps coming back around in my head..that I wanted to do when I was 18, and then again after I had savannah, and a few years after that....well...thats what I'm shooting for....

I'm not speaking it outloud. Sometimes when I speak my dreams outloud they seem to vanish or get lost in the chatter of them....I don't want that to happen this time! For now, I am biking and running at the Y....staying busy and focused....trying to fill up this somewhat empty new day with anything that keeps me from thinking about other things!