LOVE AND HOPE

Upon waking this morning...actually a few minutes after waking up, I realized something huge. I feel like me again....and since realizing this I have been trying to pinpoint how and what exact emotion or attitude or feeling is attached to me.

I think it is a combination of things...attitude and emotion. I have HOPE. Not delusional hope, just a sense that life is continuing on...that I truly am still me....I didn't lose any of the things that help me understand who I am...things like trust in people, belief in the good, desire to make a difference, the ability to laugh and find joy even when things are not really funny. HOPE has crept back in....actually it probably never left, I just didn't see it or feel it for a while.

Today I have to write a paper about my goals for the next 10 years and then speculate as to where I see myself in 10 years. Honestly I am struggling to picture 10 years from now....I have learned over time that life does not often unfold in any ways that we expect. I absolutely LOVE that aspect of life...it isnt easy to embrace, but looking back at life, it has been diverse and rich....filled with people and situations that I never would have planned or orchestrated. I LOVE how those things have shaped who I am, and that my perspective has not been jaded by them....

My original thought about my paper was "What size font would I need to use to make "alone and bitter" fit on three pages..ahahhahahahhahahhhahah.....the fact that the very thought of writing those words made me laugh really hard, cemented in my mind that I will never be those things.
I have no clear idea of where I will be in 10 years....and honestly I'm not sure that I want to know...what I do know about 10 years from now...I will still LOVE life and I will still have HOPE!