A few things I have observed camping with a variety of people.
I spent the majority of this past week camping with girls. Women actually, but two of my daughters and two small children, ages three and ten months. Camping with women and small children is a twofold experience. With women, the words “that won’t work" or "you can’t do that," or "it can’t be done,” aren’t part of the vocabulary. If we want something to be done in a particular way, we will figure out how to accomplish that thing. Whether that means parking the camper in a particular spot, at a specific angle in order to optimize the experience, building a campfire, getting an umbrella in the sand or anything related to cooking/serving, eating. We also use the word “no” infrequently and do our best to not be frustrated by things like our pictures not sending or the lack of cell service in the great outdoors, other campers, bikes, or any of the chores related to camping.
Another thing, women don’t do a whole lot of is assessing how other campers got their rigs parked. I mean, we watch for sure, because that’s camping entertainment! But musing on such things isn’t part of our conversation. Puzzling over it each time we pass, nope. Now, assessing other campers set up? THAT is something women do a lot. We take note of how their outside situation is configured and notice small things as we walk or bike by, like an aqua ice maker or the number of chairs gathered around in a circle related to the number of folks present at the site. We notice those things.
“What can I do to help,” is also a question you hear often when camping with women. Related to anything. Helping with kids, dinner, clean up, and organization. Whatever it is, our main goal is to have some fun even if it’s while we all cut up vegetables while feeding kids and “tightening up camp.” All of this, in order to get to some real fun, the beach, a sunset, a bike ride or sitting with our books.
On the flip side, camping with kids is a damn lot of work. We know this though, so there is no sense focusing on the fact. After all, our goal is to raise future campers who love the activity as much as we do. We want them to have magical memories of camping like we do. Their memories will of course be different, but we realize that our tone and attitudes help to create those memories in a positive way. We don’t let them know how much work they are! (Mostly) In their minds, we WANT to go run up that hill as much as they do. We are SUPER excited to wade into that ice-cold water and try to body surf! This is because women are also really good at creating games on the spot that won’t require us to move from our beach chairs…like, “I’ll time you to see how fast you can run to that post and back. (something pretty far away that will take up time and expend a lot of energy, preferably) Then we high-five them with lots of praise and excitement and they feel like we participated, when in fact, we remained warmly nestled in our chairs and continued to sip our coffee, cocktail, or other hydration choice. We may have also read a few more paragraphs of your books, but not likely.
The other thing about camping with kids is the napping. Napping should be a gift of time to read, putter, or get a little mid-day rest too. The thing about nap time is, that you damn well better have everything you need out of the camper because NO ONE is opening that camper door and potentially waking up the sleeping baby. NO ONE! When kids and babies sleep or nap, this is the ONLY time you have to really relax, and we women know how to take full advantage of that. We also know how badly we need to this recharge! I haven’t even addressed the bathing and attempts to get all the sand off of toddlers and babies in campground bathrooms where you would prefer to touch NOTHING! That is a project. There is often a lot of crying in campground showers and the woman or women if you’re lucky, bathing the kids are so hot and sweaty by the end, we need our own shower just to feel halfway normal again. Or at the very least an ice-cold cocktail or steaming mug of evening coffee! But if given the chance, we would do it all again, over and over, because there is something about camping that hits in our souls.
Last night, when I went home for an open house, The Suitor surprised me with the news that he had Saturday off and could, in fact, come to my favorite campground for the remainder of the weekend. I was going to head over this morning, but he wanted to wake up here, so we made the drive back last night. I’m so glad we did. There’s nothing better than waking up in a camper. We arrived 3 hours past his bedtime, but he was prepared for that and had a 5-hour energy shot to keep him going. I had condensed and covered everything before heading home yesterday morning, so it took me a few minutes to get the campsite cozy and organized once we arrive but I knew he would be awake long before me, and I wanted things plugged in, laid out and in order so that he could enjoy his morning.
Here’s the thing that is different with men. Or with this man maybe. They want to optimize their time. They work efficiently. They see the day before them and feel like minutes are ticking away before they have to be back at their grind again on Monday. They feel this optimization diminishing at 8:00 am on Saturday morning. Or at least The Suitor does. At 8:00 AM, I am still sleeping. When I am camping with him, I sleep until I smell bacon or coffee, whichever hits first. THAT is a big difference between camping with women and men. Men generally get the meat going in the morning, (no pun intended) and start working on breakfast pretty early. The good ones, like my Suitor, know how to wake a girl up so she has a good attitude about being woken up earlier than she normally would crawl out from under the covers when camping in the great outdoors. Waking up to the glorious scents of bacon and coffee. That she did not have to make!
When camping with a man, you realize the conversations are far different too. They wonder and comment A LOT about how backing in this or that rig was even possible for other campers. They seem to be able to determine how “damn close” the campers are to each other, and how “they really pack them in here don’t they?” They also notice how far the bathroom is from your setup, and unless it's really close, like right across the street, they comment on the long ass walk. It’s not that women don’t notice these things too, we just don’t talk about them much. I’m not sure why.
It’s a mystery, this working of the minds between men and women.
Another thing about camping with men, they seem to have a list of chores that need to be finished in a timely fashion. Like early in the day. A timely fashion of their own creation mind you. I think because they don’t really sit and linger over coffee for very long. Or really linger much at all. I suspect this is because they have never learned how to just “be still,” and “enjoy their own thoughts and company.” They want to get on with optimizing their day. I sometimes wonder if The Suitor had two weeks to camp uninterrupted if this would change, but I think, probably not. It’s how he and men in general are wired. Mostly.
The lack of cell service or internet connection seems to be a sticking point for menfolk as well. A lot of commenting over time like, “Boy, there sure isn’t any cell service here is there?” or “I don’t have ANY bars, do you?” While this year I do need WiFi in order to do my school work, I looked up local coffee shops where I can get that done when I need to. I can set aside an hour or so to go do that when there is a window of time. Preferably when there are not gorgeous beach hours to be enjoyed. Otherwise, I have no need for cell service OR WiFi! I’m camping! The great outdoors is my entertainment! Important to note, I have not even needed to utilize any of those coffee shops because the hotspot on my phone has worked great. Problem-solving! Finding a way to make it work. Another difference between camping with men and women. I’m not saying men can’t and don’t problem-solve while camping…they do! Just related to very different things than women.
The ONE thing that men, women, and children ALL have in common when camping is the all-important trip or trips to get ice cream. Preferably hand dipped. Preferably made someplace in Michigan. Preferably ice cream with a very high-fat content and big ass scoops! We’re all camping. We walk, bike, swim, lug water all day! The ice cream and sunsets are our greatest gifts! Camping cones just hit differently. There also seem to be no cost-cutting rules when camping. Want a waffle cone? Sure! Want a double dip? Heck yeah! Want it rolled in sprinkles? Of course! Banana split? No time like today! It is always so interesting to see what kind of flavors folks choose when getting a camping cone. Women I notice, tend to throw caution to the wind and choose flavors they have never tried! Lemon cheesecake, Michigan Pothole, Cowpie, Rush Hour, Eskimo Kisses. Men stick to old favorites. Vanilla, Butter Pecan, Mint Chip, Maple Nut. Kids are wild cards. They may try Superman or Playdough, but could also defer to a lovely Strawberry or Vanilla with sprinkles. Me? Blue Moon leads the charge! But once I’ve had my first dip of the summer I mix it up with anything that has caramel, coffee, or toffee bits! Eskimo Kisses gets mixed in pretty often as well. The one flavor I am not old enough to ever choose is Butter Pecan or Maple Nut. I guess that’s 2 flavors…but still…I’m not 95! Or male! Those are old-man ice cream choices! You won’t change my mind about this! I’ve done my research! Someone I camped with this week likes one of these flavors for sure. I’m not naming names…but they fit the target demographic highlighted above! Just sayin'.
All in all, though, I love the mix of it all. The camping with women and kids. Camping alone with The Suitor. Camping alone period! It’s a great balance. I can’t lie. It is nice to have some quiet today, to be able to craft this post and finish up some classwork. It was lovely to eat fresh bacon that I didn’t cook! I was fizzing to stroll along the canal walkway showing The Suitor all of my favorite houses and telling him stories and just soaking in the late morning. It’s nice to be here in one of my favorite places on earth with him, even though I think it will never be his. It’s sometimes challenging for me to put myself in his shoes. But I am trying. I am trying to transition from camping with the girls and grands to a different perspective of camping with him. And then camping alone None of these experiences are better or worse. Favorite or 2nd and 3rd. They are all just different. All wonderful in their own ways.
Next week I will be in a different campground and the grands and women/kids will be in and out visiting and staying. So will their partners. Hopefully the boy and his gal too! There will be bustle and child tending and camping games and bike rides. There will be games of corn hole and Jarts. There will be quiet nights by the campfire and some filled with stories and songs. There will also be some quiet days like today.
It is all a great gift, this camping tradition that I love so darn much. One passed down to me by my parents, who I know are looking down over it all and are pleased as punch that we are carrying on in some of the same ways they modeled for us. Passing it all on to a new generation and to new people, like The Suitor, who are learning to love this experience as much as we do!
One last thing. Whether camping with women, small children or men, nothing hits like a camping storm and a nap! Which I am off to enjoy now!
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